The Other Side of "Valhalla"

The Warrior halls in Norse culture would be hel for most men.

Here's another thing those of you who want to be in Valhöll, or other warrior halls, most certainly have not considered. 

The duality of combat. 

What I mean is that, in combat, you have at least two sides. There is no defining of what the "right" side is, because this type of non-sensical virtue-signaling is a liberal thing that has no reality in Norse culture. This means that you have excellent warriors on both sides of a conflicts, as in enemies, all of whom may end up in the same hall.

So, what would this mean for a dude like me? According to the Skjǫldrinn Covenant of 748, I am joining Týr at his hall, Valaskjálfgoing (still in Vahöll). 

Best case scenario, probably wishful thinking, my opponent and enemies may have fought with great honor in my views, so I'll just be buddy with them in the afterlife. This would be the case if I was to execute another warrior as rekksinsdómr (the warrior sentence), as this would require me to have a great deal of respect for the dude.

However, chances are, the opponents I slain in combat will have rubbed me the wrong way. So what will I do then?

I'll beat them and rape them senseless. Every night. With as much trauma to their ass as possible, so my seeds are better absorbed and my mark is indelible especially knowing other hybrids will go for it after me. I will make it as humiliating as possible, so they know I own their ass. I will also impede their ability to respond to my pheromones before I rape them so I cause more destruction on their ass and I will prevent them from reaching orgasm. Or maybe give them an epic one, so they know they are my bitch. Then I'll hand them over to my bros. 

By the next day, the dudes will have fully healed and recovered from their injuries and trauma. And I will do it all over again. The cycle will start all over again. Every night. And every following day, they will have recovered, for me to destroy their ass all over again, in a never ending cycle.

So, guys, if you fight against me, or Gunnarr inn þurs (or imagine Áskunnr hinn gullúlfr), well, pretty much any other hybrid actually, and you end up in the afterlife in in one of the warriors’ halls, Valaskjálf with Týr or Glaðsheimr with Óðinn (both part of Valhöll), looks more like hel for you than, well, Hel.